How Much You Are To Me
by mj0621
Summary: How much do they really mean to each other? And how far will they go to prove it? Grillows [GCR or Pure Joy] Sort of a songfic.


**How Much You Are To Me**

by: mj0621

**Disclaimer:** eh? Obviously, I don't own any of it...

**Rating:** T (and I'm sticking with it.)

**Genre:** Romance/Drama (not in the mood for humor today :P)

**Pairing:** Grillows/Pure Joy/GCR (My OTP of course ;) )

**Author's Notes:** Well, I just miss writing CSI Vegas fics... Besides, my brain was calling for a new fic again. The song I used in this fic is 'Get Mine Get Yours' by Christina Aguilera (album: Stripped). This song was supposed to be in my other fic 'A Right Mistake' but it didn't really fit it so here I am, feeling down so I thought I'd cheer myself up by writing about my first ever ship on the CSI series. Dedicated to my GCR buddies (waves to them). I owe you guys this fic. ;) One thing's for sure... WGF is back! Last note, this is the most complicated plot I ever wrote for LV so all mistakes are mine. POVs people! (Of course, it's me writing remember?) :D

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Ever since that unforgettable day, even though we wouldn't admit it, everything changed.

_Baby you pretend that things ain't what they seem_

_All this tension telling me just exactly what we should be_

_Now I don't mind us being some kind of casual thing_

_Listen, all I wanna do right now is have your contact on me_

_Can you put your hands my waistline_

_Want your skin up against mine_

_Move my hips to the baseline_

_Let me get mine, you get yours_

_Hang a please don't disturb sign_

_Put my back into a slow grind_

_Sending chills up and down my spine_

_Let me get mine, you get yours_

You went to my place to ask for forgiveness for lashing your anger out on me. I know some cases get under your skin so without hesitation, I accepted. 

We had drinks and exchanged stories that seemed to be endless. It's been a while since we did this. Work took most of our time and not to mention, you have Lindsey. Yes, I miss this.. I miss you.

You took me by surprise when you started crying. My heart felt your pain as you shared your hardships and heartaches. I wish I could take the pain away but all I can do is hold you in my arms and say 'Everything will soon pass.'

My world went on fast forward as I realized your lips was against mine. I felt my home turn into cloud nine when you pressed your body against mine. I should've said 'no' but I couldn't.

That's how much you mean to me.

_If you see me with a man_

_Understand that you can't question me_

_The feelings that you call, it ain't my fault_

_It can't help your jealousy_

_If you can handle the fact that _

_What we have has got to be commitment free_

_Then we can keep this undercover lovin' comin', hittin'_

_Underneath the sheets_

_Can you put your hands my waistline_

_Want your skin up against mine_

_Move my hips to the baseline_

_Let me get mine, you get yours_

_Hang a please don't disturb sign_

_Put my back into a slow grind_

_Sending chills up and down my spine_

_Let me get mine, you get yours_

Anger flowed in my system as you pulled me towards your office talking about how I 'communicate' with guys. 

You know as well as I do that what happened between us that night was... wasn't suppose to happen. I reminded you that we aren't anything but friends. You froze whilst my eyes pinned yours. Without saying a word, you pointed at the door. No need telling me twice. I left.

Later that day, you came to my house with a rose in hand. I saw the sadness in your eyes and I couldn't help myself but to hug you and accept your apology.

Heat rises though our bodies and what happened before happened again. Why is the most wonderful thing you ever done is always the one you weren't suppose to do? I just can't stop...

That's how much I feel for you.

_Now listen_

_So, come on and freak my body_

_We can get nasty, naughty_

_All night a private party_

_Gotta hit that spot just right_

_Work me like a 9 to 5_

_It ain't about the kissin' and huggin'_

_Cause this is a physical lovin'_

_Straight sweatin', our bodies are rubbin'_

_Gotta hit that spot just right_

_Work me like a 9 to 5_

_We have a physical thing_

_We'll make love, but don't fall in love_

_Let me get mine, you get yours_

_You spend time_

_Just enough so you get yours, and I get mine_

_No strings attached_

_I want your body, not your heart_

_Let me get mine, you get yours_

_Come here_

_Don't be shy_

_I won't bite_

_Let me get mine, you get yours_

We never took a step forward and what we have can't be explained. 

Maybe it's a 'mutual-physical' thing. No more, no less. You needed something from me and I was more than happy to give it to you. Yes, I'm a martyr. I'm a slave for you and no matter how much I wish something would happen about us, I know, it'll never happen because there is no us. There's only you and me.

I want to give you everything you want, everything you need. I want you to experience happiness even though it isn't with me.

That's how much I care for you.  
---

I never had the courage to bring our relationship to the next level. I had so many reasons why we aren't meant to be.

You deserve so much better. I'm no somebody and I want you to have all the best there is. I'm certainly not the best. I value our friendship more than anything. And no matter how we screw things up (no pun intended), I'll still try to preserve what's left.

I'll sacrifice everything up for two things: my family and you.

That's how much I love you.  
------

The smile on Gil Grissom's face vanished as Catherine Willows handed an envelope to him.

"What is this?"

Catherine sighed, "My resignation letter."

Gil scanned the paper twice before speaking, "Why? ... What's the real reason?"

"I... need to get away from this place."

"From me."

Catherine remained silent. She spun around to exit the room but Gil's strong grip on her arm prevented her from doing so. He walked towards her and whispered, "What's happening to us?"

"Nothing."

"This is not nothing, Cath..."

Upon hearing the first syllable of her name from his lips, tears rolled down on her cheeks.

"I have to leave... You deserve to be happy. I can't make you happy."

Gil pulled her against him and wrapped his arms around her fragile body. "You are my happiness."

"You deserve the best."

"I don't need the best. I need you. And if you keep insisting that, for me, you are the best."

She rested her head on his shoulders and cried. At that moment, as if someone from above sent a sign, both of hem spoke at the same time but their words weren't different from the another.

"You mean so much to me."

END  
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I know it's OOC... XD but hey... I tried. Please do tell me what you think. I'd appreciate it a lot. I wrote this very early in the morning to pardon :P. Should I return back to the other shows and never return in here again? Tell me. ;) mj(wgf)


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